CONFESSIONS of a DRAMA queen [part 2]

I thought in my silence, everything would still go at it is. I felt safe with my position. I never felt threatened that I’ll be replace. Though this has crossed my mind before, I never thought that it would come this soon.

I am surprised… confused… and more importantly, I am hurt.

I wish I didn’t see what I saw. So I won’t ever have to feel this way again. It’s deeply seering. As if it’s digging right through my core. Now, somethin sleeping has awaken.

I have felt this once when I was in my 2nd grade. . .

My bestfriend gave me something beautiful… somethin which my heart desire for so long. And coming from my bestfriend, it really meant the whole world to me. I felt really special. It made me truly happy.

But as time passed by, we became busy with our own lives that we haven’t had time to really be together.

Dormant..distant.. silent…

Until to the point that she found a new bestfriend.

One day… she asked me to give back what she gave to me. Right then and there, emotions came rushing, flooding my eyes with tears.

It’s the thought of being taken away from something you thought you already own… somethin which you already got used to..

It’s so painful.

And as easy as that? It’ll be revoked just because someone already occupied your place in their life.

It’s like starting again.. from the beginning. Everything’s EMPTY.

Only time knows when this pain will go away.

Till then, I can stop and stare at you and still smile without feeling bad, even if in your life, I matter no more.+

But this I promise you…

Even when your whole world will leave you…

I will always be the Mai that you knew.

More than willing to share my world with you~

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confessions of a drama queen [part 1]

Don’t ever think that this is easy or me. That I am not hurting. I am. But I have to do this. Not  because I want to. But because this is the right thing to do. I have to act now, before you crack the hell out of me. And my life won’t be the same again. I don’t need another stab, especially now that I’m still fragile and vulnerable. I won’t let anyone break me. Not even you. So I’d rather walk away from everything than let you get to me and make me feel worthless by giving me a cold shoulder. My self-esteem has been on its lowest level in the past and you have no idea watta hell it is for me to wake up everyday feeling DEAD. So don’t take this against me.

I just learned that, "an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure." Nursing taught me that…

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